What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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