What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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