What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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