What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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