What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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