What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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