What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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