What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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