What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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