What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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