What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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