What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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