What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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