What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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