What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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