What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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