What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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