What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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