What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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