What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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