What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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