What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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