What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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