What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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