What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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