What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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