What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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