What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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