What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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