What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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