What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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