What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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