What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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