What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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