What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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