What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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