What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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