What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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