What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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