What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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