What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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