What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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