What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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