What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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