What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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