What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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