What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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