What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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