What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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