What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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