What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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