What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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