What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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