What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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