What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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