What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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