What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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