What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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