What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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