What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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