What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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