What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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