What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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