What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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