What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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