What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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