What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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