What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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