What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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