What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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