What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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