What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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