What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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