What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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