What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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