What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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