What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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