What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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