What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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