What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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