What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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