What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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