What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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