What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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