What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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