What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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