What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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