What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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