What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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