What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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