What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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