What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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