What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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