What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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