What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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