What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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