What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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