What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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