What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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