What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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