What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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