What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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