What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.


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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.

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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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