What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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