What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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