What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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