What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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