What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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