What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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