What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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