What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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