What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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