What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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