What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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