What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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