What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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