What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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