What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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