What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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