What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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