What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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