What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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