What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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