What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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