What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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