What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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