What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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