What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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