What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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