What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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