What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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