What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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