What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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