What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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