What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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