What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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