What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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