What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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