What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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