What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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