What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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