What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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