What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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