What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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