What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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