What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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