What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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