What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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