What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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