What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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