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What do you call a thieving alligator?
A crookodile
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A Flat Major
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?
Because there was no atmosphere.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then
*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?
She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?
Camembert.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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