What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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