What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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