What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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