What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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