what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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