what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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