What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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