What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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