What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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