What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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