What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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