What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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