What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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