What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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