What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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