What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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