What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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